The History of John Cena

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  • Published on:  Monday, January 21, 2019


    Lightning McQueen, star of the 2006 blockbuster film “Cars”, is a statutory r*pist. In the film, Lightning meets and falls in love with a car named Sally Carrera, a Porsche 911. This makes Sally only 4 years old during the film (which takes place in 2006). Lightning, on the other hand, is a stock car and while his age isn’t expressly given, we know that an average stock car can race for 20 to 30 years. Because Lightning is the best, we can assume that he is 30 years old at the end of “Cars 3”, which takes place in 2017, 11 years after “Cars”. This would make Lightning 19 years old when he met Sally. As the majority of the films take place in the United States, which has the age of consent set at 17 years old, every time Lightning sticks his engine shaft in Sally’s exhaust pipe, he is committing statutory r*pe.

    Thanks for coming to my TED talk.


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    With love,

    Jarly Rae Cepsen


  • Joana Ceddia
    Joana Ceddia  10 months ago +31010

    Hi there!
    A couple things I forgot to mention in the video:
    1. I am no longer as allergic to nuts as I say in the video. The allergy has been slowly “wearing off” if you will and I can eat coconut, pine nuts, macadamia nuts and almonds.
    2. In grade 2, I got my first pair of glasses. It’s been a ride ever since
    3. I also got braces in the second grade. Grade 2 was quite the year.

  • Suga’s Boba
    Suga’s Boba  2 days ago

    i don’t care that you broke your elbow

    (it’s a vine)

  • Mandy Latimer
    Mandy Latimer  3 days ago

    I was in ib. I dropped out a week ago. so far, best decision ever. I went from crying three times a day to no times a day. - 7/10 do not recommend

  • Benji’s Adventure Time

    Hahahahahahahahahahaha videos of JOANA always the most funny thanks

  • Squidward
    Squidward  4 days ago

    When she was talking about nap time I remembered when I was younger and it was nap time I whisper yelled “AAAAAA IM HAVING A THOUSAND BABIES” true story right there

  • - officialroly -
    - officialroly -  4 days ago

    Here is the beginning of "hello my dudes " 😂

  • Clara Genot
    Clara Genot  4 days ago

    Jade: Am i a joke to you?

  • Belle L
    Belle L  4 days ago

    Ten year olds used to date at my school and it was DISGUSTING

  • Gacha Wolfy
    Gacha Wolfy  4 days ago

    Can i tell you something about my elbow? I ran into a fricking wall and fractured my elbow

  • Zoe Markovic
    Zoe Markovic  5 days ago

    I typed in “John cena” and this video is the fifth thing that came up🤣

  • Manita Sharma
    Manita Sharma  5 days ago

    I was literally laughing through the whole thing

  • Samai Deleon
    Samai Deleon  5 days ago +2

    When u said “cocaine” I was like
    “Wait what 😮”lol

  • Amira Sabour
    Amira Sabour  5 days ago +1

    i have a question
    if u are not allergic anymore did u ever try nutella :)

  • Todoroki Shoto
    Todoroki Shoto  5 days ago

    I love how she always puts captions for all them deaf folks but also for people who are watching this at one in the morning

  • Yaretsi Zuniga
    Yaretsi Zuniga  6 days ago

    When you here a lot her name and think of it
    It does sounds like Jhon cena 😂🤣

  • Fernanda Lay
    Fernanda Lay  7 days ago

    I mean mom

  • Fernanda Lay
    Fernanda Lay  7 days ago

    My moms from Brazil👌🏽

  • ArtElizia
    ArtElizia  7 days ago

    the kumon part is very true :((( im 3 years into it. i dont like it but im too far into it to stop soooooo

  • Isa Weeb
    Isa Weeb  7 days ago

    At 5:58 Joana is your life ever normal

  • Tori Gullion4sizz
    Tori Gullion4sizz  7 days ago +1

    Don’t worry I’m allergic to nuts to