The History of John Cena

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  • Published on:  Monday, January 21, 2019
  • JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: https://hellojuniper.com/channel/UCki...HILightning McQueen, star of the 2006 blockbuster film “Cars”, is a statutory r*pist. In the film, Lightning meets and falls in love with a car named Sally Carrera, a Porsche 911. This makes Sally only 4 years old during the film (which takes place in 2006). Lightning, on the other hand, is a stock car and while his age isn’t expressly given, we know that an average stock car can race for 20 to 30 years. Because Lightning is the best, we can assume that he is 30 years old at the end of “Cars 3”, which takes place in 2017, 11 years after “Cars”. This would make Lightning 19 years old when he met Sally. As the majority of the films take place in the United States, which has the age of consent set at 17 years old, every time Lightning sticks his engine shaft in Sally’s exhaust pipe, he is committing statutory r*pe.Thanks for coming to my TED talk.Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ewww_its_jo...Twitter: https://twitter.com/tweet_joanaCameo: https://www.cameo.com/ewww_its_joanaIf you want to translate the video: http://www.youtube.com/timedtext_cs_p...Current sub count: 1, 808, 609With love,Jarly Rae Cepsen
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  • Joana Ceddia
    Joana Ceddia  6 months ago +29310

    Hi there!
    A couple things I forgot to mention in the video:
    1. I am no longer as allergic to nuts as I say in the video. The allergy has been slowly “wearing off” if you will and I can eat coconut, pine nuts, macadamia nuts and almonds.
    2. In grade 2, I got my first pair of glasses. It’s been a ride ever since
    3. I also got braces in the second grade. Grade 2 was quite the year.

  • Marshmallow
    Marshmallow  6 months ago +14919

    imagine her browser history..

  • THE_H3dgeh0g
    THE_H3dgeh0g  2 months ago +3998

    Joana: I was fat, I was thicc, I had too many folds.
    Me: I can relate

  • Eugène
    Eugène  2 months ago +3217

    5:21 I'm going to say it...
    I don't care that you broke your elbow.

  • kashi gi
    kashi gi  2 months ago +1671

    she's brazilian
    now everything is explained
    (I can do this joke, I'm brazilian, so shut up)

  • shanna.mp4
    shanna.mp4  14 days ago +424

    * joana wakes up during surgery *
    Joana: Hi!!
    surgeons: Oh fu-

  • Anonymous User
    Anonymous User  1 months ago +646

    If you search “John cena” this actually comes up on YouTube
    Nice

  • bengalifob2
    bengalifob2  2 months ago +421

    Can you ask your dad to react to his ratemyproffessor rating

  • Nicole Keene
    Nicole Keene  7 days ago +179

    “And so I was yeeted into our motorized carriage”
    -john cena 2019

  • NoseDive03
    NoseDive03  21 days ago +346

    Did she really go and pronounce my boy Tigger’s name wrong?

  • Molly Kay
    Molly Kay  4 months ago +4735

    She's literally only 5 hours older than me.

  • Sofía Gómez Uribe
    Sofía Gómez Uribe  14 days ago +151

    You can paint, play the piano, you do track and field, you are super intelligent, swim, you are a super funny... STOPPPPPP!
    OK DON'T STOP. I just discovered your channel like 2 days ago and I've watched too many of your videos 😂. I'm 27 but I enjoy your videos as lot!

  • SAYURRO
    SAYURRO  1 months ago +334

    The queen was born in Brazil. We stan a Brazilian lady.

  • Keeping up with Pedro
    Keeping up with Pedro  1 months ago +166

    I cant believe John cena is Brazilian (me too!)

  • cheerios4canaries
    cheerios4canaries  2 months ago +146

    Whoa I have never seen such an entertaining video featuring a detailed narration of one’s childhood only stock photos...

  • ok cool
    ok cool  6 months ago +4555

    the fbi agent looking at your search history must be confused

  • Matryoshka Miku
    Matryoshka Miku  7 days ago +37

    Nobody:
    John Cena:
    im gonna tell you guys my life but.. with stock photos.

  • Gabby Evans
    Gabby Evans  1 months ago +114

    I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast this morning

  • pill
    pill  1 months ago +81

    Draw my life
    STOCK MY LIFE

  • Sophie Ella
    Sophie Ella  3 days ago +8

    i was fat, NAY I WAS THICC
    That will be my yearbook quote. It must be my yearbook quote.